flash52 replied to your post “My brain is still in hyperdrive after 10 hours at uni, so I think now…”
Well you discovered who you are before I did, although I may have had a recent breakthrough with that
it’s really hard, trying to figure out who you are, and I’m not 100% dead set yet, but I’m getting there, so that’s progress. Tell me, what was your great breakthrough? :)
My brain is still in hyperdrive after 10 hours at uni, so I think now would be a good time, since I can’t sleep, to tell you guys that something wonderful has happened.
If you know me, and I know at least a good portion of you people do, you should know that I have been fighting with myself about my gender identity for quite some time now, and I have finally come to a conclusion, after joining a warm, loving and embracing community at uni.
I am a woman. I am female. I am a her. And I’m finally proud of that fact.
For my entire life I’ve felt inadequate for being less feminine than the other girls in my communities, but by being presented to such a masculine dominated group of people has created a contrast I apparently needed, and I can now see my personality for what it really is.
It is rooted quite firmly in my femininity, in my put-on mother role, and in my feeling of ‘togetherness’ with the other girls.
Another point in the realization, is my sexuality.
I can finally describe it on point. I am pansexual, polyromantic.
Sex to me is an interesting and fun thing, and should be done often, if possible. You need to be in a place of comfort with the other person/people in order to have sex with them. You should enjoy their company too, but you do not need to love them, to have sex with them.
Love makes sex better, this is most definitely true, but you can still have pleasurable sex without love, and without regretting it afterwards.
My romantic attraction though, is really quite complicated, but it works.
I can’t love a cisgender heterosexual man. He can be the nicest guy in the world, but I still can’t. I can’t explain why actually. I was in a relationship with a more-or-less cisgender bicourious man for 4 years and I couldn’t love him, no matter how hard I tried.
What I regret most about that relationship are the many times I said “I love you” without meaning it. Mostly it was as a respond.
The more feminine a person is, the greater I can love them, from my experience. I have, in my live, only been truely in love twice, and both were with cisgender women, but my crushes have ranged anywhere from trans of both genders to cisgender to bigender/agender and so forth.
So that’s why I’ve ended up with polyromantic. I can’t love everyone, but I can try with most people.
So yeah, conclusion: I am a cisgender woman, who is pansexual polyromantic.
My brain has started to return error messages. I think it’s time to recharge.
end of file.
flash52 replied to your post “Finally home after 15 hours at uni. I feel like a good freshman, no…”
that was some serious japanese. Does not compute.
Finally home after 15 hours at uni.
I feel like a good freshman, no one said DONF to me today (“Drop out now, Freshman!”= fra dansk DNUR “Drop nu ud, Rus!”).
Also 30 out of this weeks 50 assignments are done (no joke), I still have 2 big ones, and 230 pages of reading left (from 300).
Today was my first day. For dinner I ate pasta with mackerel and ketchup.
Living the college life already.
So I cut my leg pretty deeply while trying to shave my legs. So now I have a 5 cm long/1 cm wide strip up my leg where the outer layer of skin is missing, and it’s bleeding intensely.
501. Muggleborns accidentally calling Dumbledore “Gandalf”.
first day at uni tomorrow. good god.